So many times we will be talking with a single guy or even another couple and words get thrown around. That lifestyle vocabulary as I like to call it. The problem of course is that we all speak the same language, we just don't all have the same meaning for those words. The general population does not take the time to educate themselves on this stuff or have a basic understanding of the words and phrases that they use. Just some random thoughts that I have been having lately...
Take "cuck" or "cuckold" for example. The dictionary defines "cuckold" as...a man whose wife is sexually unfaithful, regarded as an object of derision (contemptuous ridicule or mockery). Often times in the modern world the second part of that definition is left out and it is defined as a man whose wife is sexually unfaithful. Okay, I am a cuckold. My wife is sexually unfaithful. But the last part doesn't apply. She is unfaithful BECAUSE I encourage her to be. Because I love seeing her have more pleasure that I can sometimes provide her. Because I want her to experience life and connect with people on any level that she sees fit. If that means she puts another man's cock inside her, so be it. I don't have to feel derision to be a cuckold. There are times with certain men in our bedroom that he or she will play in a little mockery. The difference is we do that because of the mood we are all in at the time. We do it for fun and for a change of pace once in awhile. It is not our only form of play. But still, I am a cuckold.
Bull. This one drives me nuts. Any man who fucks your wife is not automatically her bull...at least for us. Much like cuckold as discussed above, everyone seems to have their own definition to the word "bull". When we opened our marriage over 8 years ago, my wife had only been with 4 men. She was 30. She is now at 19. So...those 15 men who have entered her have not all been "bulls". A couple of them were one time encounters. How can someone be a bull if you literally meet them, fuck and they leave? For us a bull is sometime who establishes themselves in out relationship. Someone that ADDS to our dynamic and someone who understands his place in our dynamic. A bull, again for us, is more than a fuck, more than a lover but short of a boyfriend. So, out of those 15 men how many have been bulls? One for sure. He engaged with both of us outside and inside the bedroom. In the bedroom, he showed his "dominance" and treated her and me correctly. He took her out for coffee a couple of times and meal or two. He would stop by just to say hi. Didn't have to take his clothes off. That is a bull. That is someone that is adding to our marriage and our dynamic and the richness of her life because he can discuss things with her that are of interest to them and not necessarily me. There is another that is working on it but he is so far away (you know who you are). Would we love to a have a long term, ongoing relationship with another man to be a bull for our marriage? Yes. At some point in time would I like her to have a boyfriend. Again, yes. But that is going to take some work!
Poly or Polyamorous. Just because you have an open marriage or are a hotwife does not make you poly or polyamorous. Poly meaning many and amorous meaning loves. Many loves. Characterized by or involved in the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved. I, personally, have fucked many people that I did not love. Sex was the thing to do. We were there, we had needs, we used each other. I did not love those people. I have loved many people in my life. But having several sexual partners at the same time does not make you poly. This word this thrown around all the time and I feel like people do not understand it's meaning. My wife and I practice ethical non-monogamy. We are not polyamorous. Yet. I think that there may come a time when we get to polyamory but at the current time we are not there. If a lover graduated from that to bull to boyfriend then we would be poly.
My wife and I define our dynamic as Stag/Vixen...I am more dominate in our relationship and I love to see other men fuck her so I will find them for her. Occasionally she will be a hotwife...she will ask if she can have an encounter without me present. Occasionally she will fuck someone and I will sit at the end of the bed a watch and be told how much better that man is than me. That is a little modern cuckolding, just for fun. The main point is our dynamic and what we do works for US. Sometimes it is so hard to find other lifestyle people to engage with because their vocabulary is different from ours and probably different from yours. The point of all this is to say that I think if we could all communicate better within the community and not make assumptions about other people the lifestyle would be more rewarding, more fun and lead to more orgasms. Don't assume that because my wife fucks other men that I am a pussy.
Take "cuck" or "cuckold" for example. The dictionary defines "cuckold" as...a man whose wife is sexually unfaithful, regarded as an object of derision (contemptuous ridicule or mockery). Often times in the modern world the second part of that definition is left out and it is defined as a man whose wife is sexually unfaithful. Okay, I am a cuckold. My wife is sexually unfaithful. But the last part doesn't apply. She is unfaithful BECAUSE I encourage her to be. Because I love seeing her have more pleasure that I can sometimes provide her. Because I want her to experience life and connect with people on any level that she sees fit. If that means she puts another man's cock inside her, so be it. I don't have to feel derision to be a cuckold. There are times with certain men in our bedroom that he or she will play in a little mockery. The difference is we do that because of the mood we are all in at the time. We do it for fun and for a change of pace once in awhile. It is not our only form of play. But still, I am a cuckold.
Bull. This one drives me nuts. Any man who fucks your wife is not automatically her bull...at least for us. Much like cuckold as discussed above, everyone seems to have their own definition to the word "bull". When we opened our marriage over 8 years ago, my wife had only been with 4 men. She was 30. She is now at 19. So...those 15 men who have entered her have not all been "bulls". A couple of them were one time encounters. How can someone be a bull if you literally meet them, fuck and they leave? For us a bull is sometime who establishes themselves in out relationship. Someone that ADDS to our dynamic and someone who understands his place in our dynamic. A bull, again for us, is more than a fuck, more than a lover but short of a boyfriend. So, out of those 15 men how many have been bulls? One for sure. He engaged with both of us outside and inside the bedroom. In the bedroom, he showed his "dominance" and treated her and me correctly. He took her out for coffee a couple of times and meal or two. He would stop by just to say hi. Didn't have to take his clothes off. That is a bull. That is someone that is adding to our marriage and our dynamic and the richness of her life because he can discuss things with her that are of interest to them and not necessarily me. There is another that is working on it but he is so far away (you know who you are). Would we love to a have a long term, ongoing relationship with another man to be a bull for our marriage? Yes. At some point in time would I like her to have a boyfriend. Again, yes. But that is going to take some work!
Poly or Polyamorous. Just because you have an open marriage or are a hotwife does not make you poly or polyamorous. Poly meaning many and amorous meaning loves. Many loves. Characterized by or involved in the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved. I, personally, have fucked many people that I did not love. Sex was the thing to do. We were there, we had needs, we used each other. I did not love those people. I have loved many people in my life. But having several sexual partners at the same time does not make you poly. This word this thrown around all the time and I feel like people do not understand it's meaning. My wife and I practice ethical non-monogamy. We are not polyamorous. Yet. I think that there may come a time when we get to polyamory but at the current time we are not there. If a lover graduated from that to bull to boyfriend then we would be poly.
My wife and I define our dynamic as Stag/Vixen...I am more dominate in our relationship and I love to see other men fuck her so I will find them for her. Occasionally she will be a hotwife...she will ask if she can have an encounter without me present. Occasionally she will fuck someone and I will sit at the end of the bed a watch and be told how much better that man is than me. That is a little modern cuckolding, just for fun. The main point is our dynamic and what we do works for US. Sometimes it is so hard to find other lifestyle people to engage with because their vocabulary is different from ours and probably different from yours. The point of all this is to say that I think if we could all communicate better within the community and not make assumptions about other people the lifestyle would be more rewarding, more fun and lead to more orgasms. Don't assume that because my wife fucks other men that I am a pussy.